Semper In Medias Res

Just before bed, she asks me, "Momma, can we just sit and stare at the lights?" "Of course, sweetheart." We lay on the floor and stare at the Christmas lights wrapped around the balcony.  From here, you can see the rest of the Christmas decoration below.  The tree that she was excited to put together. The ornaments she excitedly added to the tree, all right at her height. The colorful lights that Momma and Daddy looped around the tree. We lay in silence for a few moments, quietly admiring the work.  It's not fancy. It's not Instagram ready.  It's all for us. For moments like this. She turns her head to me and we share a smile. She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. She keeps my hand on her chest and she stares at the lights. I hide my tears of joy for this moment. I think, this is what it means to be a mom. I stare at everything to commit this moment to memory. This is my Christmas.

 ...since we have been home. Summer came and went in a blur of birthdays, outings, mini-trips, and adjustments.  Fall is almost over and we have found our rhythm now that Lana has started school. And by rhythm, I mean a vague sense of a daily schedule that allows for some curveballs. There is still a pandemic. There are still protocols to follow if any one (mostly Lana) is a "close contact" with positive Covid-19 person. So are schedule allows for possible quarantine situation. Winter is coming (see what I did there, #GoTFans?). Holidays, family gatherings, cooking fun. That is what I have in store for our family.  I spent this second half of 2021 investing in me. In my last post, I talked about hitting that Pandemic Wall. The post was mostly about the joy I found with music, which did/does help. I just needed more.  When we returned home from Germany, I was back in my zone. I am back in a environment where I can navigate, where I can advocate for myself. I set some ...