The Little Girl That Was...

Hold on to the Firsts. The firsts smile, the firsts laughs, the firsts steps. That's what many new moms hear. As the years go on and the kids get older, the message becomes, "You'll never know when it will be the lasts. The lasts "Mommy," the last time you pick up and hold your child, the last time they grab your hand.

I'm in the middle, and I am trying to hold onto these in between moments. The moments when she comes to me for a hug. The smell of her hair after a shower. The snuggles and giggles in her bed before it is time for her to sleep. The weight of her in my arms while I still have the opportunity to hold her.

These moments make me smile, make me cry, and even sometimes, make me a little sad.

Sad for the little girl that was, who wanted desperately to be held.

Sad for the little girl that was, who just wanted to hear that she was good enough without the A's.

Sad for the little girl that was, who wanted surprises, because that meant her family knew her.

But in those moments, I smile and tell that little girl that was, 

 

Her family now holds her in good times and in sad times. 

Her family tells her that she is the best thing ever for all that she does.

Her family surprises her with all the little things that she loves. 

It is this family that she has created that gives the woman that she is, what the little girl that was didn't get.