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The Little Girl That Was...

Hold on to the Firsts. The firsts smile, the firsts laughs, the firsts steps. That's what many new moms hear. As the years go on and the kids get older, the message becomes, "You'll never know when it will be the lasts. The lasts "Mommy," the last time you pick up and hold your child, the last time they grab your hand. I'm in the middle, and I am trying to hold onto these in between moments. The moments when she comes to me for a hug. The smell of her hair after a shower. The snuggles and giggles in her bed before it is time for her to sleep. The weight of her in my arms while I still have the opportunity to hold her. These moments make me smile, make me cry, and even sometimes, make me a little sad. Sad for the little girl that was, who wanted desperately to be held. Sad for the little girl that was, who just wanted to hear that she was good enough without the A's. Sad for the little girl that was, who wanted surprises, because that meant her family knew...
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My Christmas

Just before bed, she asks me, "Momma, can we just sit and stare at the lights?" "Of course, sweetheart." We lay on the floor and stare at the Christmas lights wrapped around the balcony.  From here, you can see the rest of the Christmas decoration below.  The tree that she was excited to put together. The ornaments she excitedly added to the tree, all right at her height. The colorful lights that Momma and Daddy looped around the tree. We lay in silence for a few moments, quietly admiring the work.  It's not fancy. It's not Instagram ready.  It's all for us. For moments like this. She turns her head to me and we share a smile. She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. She keeps my hand on her chest and she stares at the lights. I hide my tears of joy for this moment. I think, this is what it means to be a mom. I stare at everything to commit this moment to memory. This is my Christmas.

It's been 6 Months...

 ...since we have been home. Summer came and went in a blur of birthdays, outings, mini-trips, and adjustments.  Fall is almost over and we have found our rhythm now that Lana has started school. And by rhythm, I mean a vague sense of a daily schedule that allows for some curveballs. There is still a pandemic. There are still protocols to follow if any one (mostly Lana) is a "close contact" with positive Covid-19 person. So are schedule allows for possible quarantine situation. Winter is coming (see what I did there, #GoTFans?). Holidays, family gatherings, cooking fun. That is what I have in store for our family.  I spent this second half of 2021 investing in me. In my last post, I talked about hitting that Pandemic Wall. The post was mostly about the joy I found with music, which did/does help. I just needed more.  When we returned home from Germany, I was back in my zone. I am back in a environment where I can navigate, where I can advocate for myself. I set some ...

Finding Joy in Music.

 Dear Friends, I will be honest with you. I had a rough couple of weeks in the middle of February. It was just another day and as I sat down on at my desk to start another day at work and I just yelled out in frustration out into the universe "I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE." Marcin was also in the office and gave me a look that pretty much said, "Yep, she lost it." In truth, I did.  Since then, I gave every aspect of my life about 15% because I was trying to hold onto the 35% percent of my sanity and actively get back 50% of sanity back. I did all the self-care tips that one reads on Buzzfeed, Pinterest, podcasts, and blogs. Yoga, go for a run, take a bath, etc. Marcin even started to take both Caesar and Lana out for long walks so that I can have time to myself. I started writing in a journal again. I ticked all the "self-care" boxes and probably got my sanity back to 60%. But there is one thing that always take me to such highs - Music.  I don't need m...

I Release this Burden

I release this burden of silence for the years of off handed comments about war brides from a country I never visited or lived in. for the times I was accused of having an accent. for the rumors that my childhood home was full of dragons. I will no longer smile and stay silent. I release this burden of this hidden anger for the silence of so called friends. for my daughter who at 5 has already had her first question about the color of her skin. for the stranger who expressed her hatred because my skin is the base tan she has to pay for (hello tanning industry) and I was born with. I will no longer hide this anger. I release this silence and anger for my BIPOC and LGTBQ+ friends who had to watch their community suffer. who had to watch the unfair deaths of hundreds of friends, sons, daughters, parents, and grandparents. who had to watch the perpetrators be treated with kindness and the victims treated as criminals. I will stand and support you. I release these burdens to You. You who ca...

Practice DOESN'T make Perfect

 Dear Friends, I've trying to teach Lana that importance of practice. And by routine, I would occasionally say "practice makes perfect." It wasn't until we were playing "Keep the balloon off the floor," and Lana said "I know I know, 'practice makes perfect.' That is when it struck me everything that is inherently wrong with that phrase. Specifically the word "perfect." By now, we all know that Perfection is not attainable. No one is perfect. So why do we do have this mindset that if I keep at something (practice), then I will be perfect? It's an old phrase I will give you. But it needs to be updated. I found this phrase in a random article, "Resilience requires practice." That's when I realize why we need to practice. It's not to be perfect, it's to be resilient. Practice teaches resilience. Being resilient means that you learn, you adjust, and you change.  I practice new crochet stitches not to create the per...

2021 Goals: A bad habit I'm going to break...

 Dear Friends, As I said in my 2021 goals post, one bad habit that I want to break is the mindless scrolling on social media. It does nothing for me. It adds no value to my day. It also triggers my anxiety.  I actually had a draft of this post a few weeks back and it was all about what my plan was to "detox" from social media. Then the strangest thing occurred. An old friend of mine, who lives in the UK, reached out and sent a Christmas Email to my personal email. I naturally responded with a "Thank you and how are you?" reply. After some back and forth via email, we connected on What's App.  I had mentioned to said friend how I'm trying to step back from Facebook. I wondered if she was on Instagram and she said that she was mostly a lurker herself. She mentioned how she scaled back her Facebook to 30 people! People she actually interacts with and who she wants to know about her life.  Isn't that something!? 30 people! I've tried to cull out my ...